what i was trying to say is this: there are days, more than you can imagine, where knowing the guitar is there makes the struggle lift away. some struggles i embrace but not the grind and not the heartbreak...having this thing i can depend on that is free of any other obstacle, and boy are there plenty for all of us.
there are no bolded words, no titles, no subheadings, no hierarchy here. each word depends on the other. each word, even the smallest, matters.
so i believe some people need this strong creative focus on self to be happy. i suspect you are like this. it is a long road and we should be grateful for the journey. pick something that is creative or maybe let it pick you. something you can love and commit to.
and then don't ever think again how good or not good you are. just do the thing, as often as you can, and give yourself to it. dogs live in the moment with no thought of past or future and we should do the same when it comes to most things, especially what we give our hearts to. yet another thing to learn from dogs.
whatever it is you will not be great, nor most likely even good, for a long time. if you find something you love enough...as you slowly emerge it will be revelational. i let go of self judgment and focus on the beauty and power of being willing to commit...playing Segovia's scales for example. to commit to the simplest things is to learn the most important lessons.
the beauty is in the doing and whether we succeed is besides the point. the majesty is in the trying, no matter what anyone says, including Yoda. never judge your present state (dogs)...it shouldn't matter if you do what you do for love. if i stooped to constant self-evaluation of perceived ability and talent, i would quit almost everything i ever attempted, always too early. i play those scales or work on a challenging bar of Asturias (that most Spanish of songs) and I know the following to be true: the giving of oneself to love, whether it is for a person, belief, or passion, is everything.
p.s. in Segovia's C Major and G Major scales, the G string shift occurs after playing the B note: first finger to C (fifth fret) and third finger to D (seventh fret). Segovia's scales are all about the left hand shifts.